I
find that reading about my cousin Malcolm makes him more real - he was
always larger than life, a guy who always seemed to have it together,
to have a way with the ladies and to be so superhumanly amazing. I treasure
the times he came here and we saw him in Cape Town on holiday or in
Johannesburg visiting relatives and friends- that is in the very rare
times when he wasn't out partying) but more importantly I treasure the
times that I spent with him in the states in 1995.
The
time he got me to drink all those margaritas(may even have been in the
bar that where the Friday night party in honour of his memory was held).All
I remember was there were different colours. He challenged me by saying
that my mother had downed 4 and he didn't think I could it. Now of course
being a true Taurus bull it was like waving a red flag. So I proceeded
to down 4 in a row. However I don't drink and was soon paraletic - I
don't have clear memories of the night that followed - just flashbacks
of a cowboy bar. Bet he regretted the challenge after when he had to
carry me back to his moms place.
Then there was the precious time we got to spend an evening together
when he took me to a Houston Rockets basketball game because he knew
I wanted to go to a game.Later when he came out to South Africa on a
holiday he bought me a t-shirt of the rockets which I have to this day.
He also found a South African shop somewhere or other and he bought
ultramel (a south African custard) He heard that I love it and he unselfishly
gave it all to me!
My
last memory of seeing him was when he was out here in 1999 and he and
his Gomer cousins went out for steaks - gosh did he eat, either he hadn't
eaten for ages or the meat was just too good.
If
I had one wish it would be that I had known him better - been closer
to him... but I know one day we will meet up again and I will know all
there is to know about a special soul that G-d sent down to us here
for a short time to teach us all about the goodness in life,and then
recalled back to His side up there because it was too good to be here.
I found
a poem that I find to have very special words so I am going to copy
it here - maybe it will help others too:
Memories
Keep Those We Love Close to us Forever
Although
words seem to say so little,
I hope they help in some small way
to ease the sense of loss
that you're experiencing today.
Hold
fast to your memories,
to all of the cherished moments
of the past,
to the blessings and the laughter,
the joys and the celebrations,
the sorrow and the tears.
They all add up to a treasure
of fond yesterdays
that you shared and spent together,
and they keep the one you loved
close to you in spirit and thought.
The
special moments
and memories in your life
will never change.
They will always be in your heart,
today and forevermore.